Kate

I will be posting a full review after the drama ends and I will be linking all the comments I made while watching in the comment under the review 🙂

Glad to know it's helpful and not complete waste of time 🤣

His behavior needs to be viewed from the the big picture and the context of his whole life. It's easy to say he should set strict boundaries and not be passive, but if you never learned, how the fuck could you do it? 🤡

really long comment of my analysis of Da On's situation and him as a character 🥲

Let’s talk characters, coz I have many thoughts. All these are my subjective thoughts and analysis, don’t come at me for it 🤡 Gonna make separate comment for each character coz shit gonna be long Let’s start with Da On 🥲

I understand a lot of people are frustrated with his “lack of action” and passiveness when interacting with Su Hyeon and how blind he was about Jae Min’s schemes. But let’s put that behavior in the larger context. Da On was neglected throughout his childhood - growing up with a father who was addicted to gambling and a passive mother who did nothing to help her family, as his sister said - just lying down crying. It’s obvious he did not receive much love and support as he was growing up. He did not have healthy relationships examples, hence for him it’s hard to judge what is good or bad, appropriate, real care and manipulation etc. No one knows what is right, you learn by experiencing it. If he never experienced real care, how would he know if what we receive is right or not?

For specific “relationships” Su Hyeon is not some random dude that showed up at Da On’s life and right away turned aggressive. He was his beloved hyung during university. They knew each other for 7-8 years. He liked him. From the flashbacks we can see he was pushy, borderline disregarding Da On’s feelings (the library scene with the ring would be a good example), but it was never aggressive in the past and knowing Da On liked him, it might even be seen as a possessive flirting. He was someone who protected Da On.But he was also someone Da On never thought he could have, since he was in a “relationship” with Jae Min. And then he was gone after that “beating up a guy” moment. Probaby without much explanation. He never got a real closure. He saw someone who was taking care of him almost kill a man, and then he was gone.

And now he is back all angry, aggressive, possessive and with so much actual power over Da On’s life. He is not someone you can just say: fuck off, because the consequences might be: you losing your job, you being completely blacklist from the industry you work in, someone getting serious hurt or even potentially killed. Su Hyeon is not some ugly ass bitch that hit on Da On in a bar, someone he can reject and move on with his life. Su Hyeon is someone with great social, economical and emotional power over Da On. So from Da On’s perspective, with his lack of support system in literally all areas of his life, all he can do is de-escalate while trying to keep Su Hyeon in check so he won’t cross the line too far. He was not completely passive, agreeing to each and all Su Hyeon’s requests and demands. He set as much of a boundary as he could at any given moments - sometimes it was telling him strict no when they were in public place and Su Hyeon could not hurt him, but sometimes when they were alone, it was being passive, because he knows how aggressive and fucking nuts Su Hyeon can be when he does not get what he wants.

And that’s why he did not try to push away Su Hyeon when he forced that kiss on him in the beginning of episode 6. Because the consequences might have been worse than said kiss. He is traumatized by Su Hyeon's past and current behavior. He cannot predict when he will lash out next time, and how it will end, It’s not a unique behavior. Many victims of sexual assault do not fight their abuser out of fear of the escalation of the situation. It’s still not their fault, they were still assaulted. Being passive out of fear is not consent.

Moving on to his “situationship” with Jae Min. Initially he might have been the one who Da On liked. I am honestly not sure if at first he just admired him, or he truly had a crush on him. But it also does not matter much. Jae Min was kind and helpful hyung who was the first person in his life that offered him help, who seemed more interested in just making sure he improves and is in a good place, than gaining anything from it (free tutoring being the case). By all means he was the tiny part of normalcy in Da On’s life. For the longest time the only friend. Jae Min is extremely good at hiding his true nature. There was no reason for Da On to suspect anything. But since Jae Min always treated Da On as just a friend, he moved on with his romantic feelings - and started to like Su Hyeon. From Da On’s perspective, not much happened or changed even when Jae Min was “dating” Su Hyeon. He still admired Jae Min, he was this constant part of his life. When something seemed wrong between Jae Min and Su Hyeon, he was on Jae Min’s side, even when he liked Su Hyeon. Jae Min was the good part of his life.

I can easily see how his feelings started to grow after Su Hyeon left. He was left with Jae Min and Jae Min alone in his life. And I’m sure Jae Min made sure it was the case for years. After what happened with Su Hyeon, I’m sure he made sure to not make the mistake of letting Da On get close to anyone else. So Jae Min was literally all Da On had. And he never did anything wrong. Not once. But maybe he did? It’s obvious he crossed the boundary Da On tried to set countless times. How Da On told him not to get involved with his family, and Jae Min kept doing that. And it made Da On feel so in debt and guilty. And that made him feel like he is connected to Jae Min even more. Jae Min And Da On had no one in his life to call Jae Min’s actions out. To question the validity of his “help” and the true goals he might have. To show Da On how sneaky and manipulative he is.

But also, even if someone did, I don’t think Da On would listen. Why? Because Jae Min was the only person in his life that cared for him, stayed with him, and did not leave. turning his back on Jae Min would mean being comp;letely alone, and being alone is fucking scary.

And that leads me to why Da On had no issue pushing Jae Min off of him when Jae Min kissed him - because he never, not once saw Jae Min being aggressive. He never feared him. He had no reason to think pushing Jae Min away might put him or someone else in danger. It’s not like Da On did not push away Su Hyeon coz he liked the kiss, and Da On coz he did not. He just felt more safe to react in one situation compared to the other.

And then we have Seong Hyeon who showed up and Da On was “confronted” with what true selflessness means, true care and genuine feelings. And that’s when he slowly started to see that what was between him and Su Hyeon and him and Jae Min was just wrong. That’s when he started to set boundaries. That’s when he for the first time told Jae Min “no”. Because he experienced what a healthy friendship/relationship should be like. BUT you cannot just change your personality in one day. The bad habits and the passiveness caused by neglect, manipulation and trauma does not go away just because you were confronted with them. He takes tiny steps to improve his situation, but also himself. He falls back into bad coping mechanisms out of fear. Because change and healing takes time.

And that’s why he tries to push Seong Hyeon away, because at the moment it is the only way he knows how to protect him. He does not understand quite yet that Seong Hyeon truly likes him. He does not want him to be hurt, simply coz he feels pity for Da On and wants to help him. So he willingly locks himself in the cage with the abuser, and leaves Seong Hyeon safe, outside of it. He is yet to understand that he could lock the abuser, while stepping out of the cage himself. Tho from the end of episode 6, we might see actual progress in that area so yey!

Anyway, Da On is a dude that experienced a lot of trauma and neglect, had no examples of healthy relationships in his life, had all the burden of supporting himself and also worrying about his sister. He was a young guy who, as far as I see it, was groomed by two influential seniors into an easily manipulated and put in place possession. He was in that cage for years (7+, with Jae Min probably longer since they met when Da On was still preparing for university). You cannot heal, move on and set strict boundaries in a day. I honestly think he actually does so much better in this situation than the MAJORITY of people would. No matter how I see him, I do not think he is weak. The fact he did not break down yet for me proves he is strong. He just needs some guidance, be confronted with good experiences and behaviors to see how bad his situation is, so he can make a conscious choice to leave.

Analysis of Jae Min: https://kisskh.at/723559-secret-relationship#comment-21170638
Analysis of Su Hyeon: https://kisskh.at/723559-secret-relationship#comment-21172128

Or, just a thought... He was scared with Suhyeon coz he saw him almost kiss someone, he is unpredictable and he knows he can get hurt if he pushes him away too fast too much.

And with Jae Min, he had no idea how much of a psycho he truly was, so he was not as scared to actually push him away? 🤡

You know, just a thought.

As far as I know Suhyeon and Jae Min can stab each other, hopefully both will die 🤡

Let him 🥲 In many cases of sexual assault the victims do not defend themselves because of fear. That's the case here. As far as Da On knows, Su Hyeon could kill someone.

HE IS A FUCING GROWN UP MAN LOL It is his choice to always throw hands and react with aggression, ignore Da On's feelings, constantly hurt him.

I will project Suhyeon's and Jae Min's face on every character that dies 🤣

I cannot even drink coz I'm going to cinema in like an hour lol At least it's a horror. Maybe seeing dumb assholes get killed on screen will be cathartic 🤡

I hope, but the case might be also he was assaulted by Suhyeon, and then slept on the sofa...
But yeah I am taking your explanation. I take anything that will make that scene less disgusting...

LONG reactions as I watch episode 6, coz shit happened and I'm exhausted. I love this show.

Okay... fuck.So I read in the comments what happened in the webtoon and I had hoped they would not go that way in the drama, or at least tone it down. But nope. Sexual assault. fuck. I am so pissed right now. There is no better or worse between Suhyeon and Jaemin - they are both unrecyclable trash that needs to be burned to ashes.

I am honestly close to tears with anger. This was such a disgusting scene. Fuck this shit. Suhyeon needs to just get his ass in jail because he is literally a criminal and danger to society. If after episode 6 anyone, even fucking one person, still wants Da On and Suhyeon together, you need to be put in jail too, or go to therapy. (ps. read comment that they might not have slept together coz of the blanket on the sofa. I take it. I take any take on this scene that can convince me the sexual assaulted ended on that kiss...)

Thank fucking god Seong Hyeon is not a weak person. The level of strength and conviction. Damn. The way he put Syhyeon in place in that elevator without lifting a finger. Yes! Also, since he is actually rather empathic and perceptive, he can clearly see Da On does not want to be with Suhyeon, he is just simply terrified of him. And DAMN he is doing such a good job in this situation. Instead of adding stress to Da On by making him stand up for himself right at this moment, leave Suhyeon and all that. He asks, he says he will wait, that he is not going anywhere. Da On needs the stability around him to be able to clear the shit between him and Suhyeon and also Jae Min.

Here's the thing - Suhyeon completely misunderstands Seong Hyeon's reactions. He is trying to make Seong Hyeon jealous and angry, but Seong Hyeon is concern if anything. Disturbed by the situation. But Suhyeon is an abusive asshole who only sees his own feelings and he projects that onto others. So when he says Da On was with him last night, he says it to make Seong Hyeon jealous. But rather than jealous, Seong Hyeon;s first thought is - is Da On safe, was he hurt. That's something Suhyeon will never be able to understand.

I fucking hate how good looking Jae Min is. Let's be real, we would all be manipulated by that asshole.
MUHAHAHAHA but also I feel like this was literally the first time Da On ever said no to Jae Min and Jae Min was legit shocked 🤡 His brain probably went: I need to plot more.

And what we can see here is woman's intuition with Da On's sister. Like, the way she senses something off with Jae Min. Bless her. She was not vibing with him even before.

AJHFSUDGHSDILGHSD;GJDS;G SUYEON BE COMMITING CRIME, JAEMIN BE PAYING PEOPLE TO COMMIT CRIME. DA ON FUCKING RUN OMG. People be like Da On needs to stand up for himself - no. He needs to be careful, because he legit might die or his sister might die or people he cares about might die. Do people just ignore how serious this situation is or what? I would legit have panic attacks by now if I was Da On.

THE WAY OUT BABY BOY BEST BOY TOOK CARE OF HIS SISTER I CANNOT 😭

Da On legit thinks he is not good enough for Seong Hyeon. He must also be so scared and confused by his sincerity. Because this is not what he experienced so far. Up till now the people who "cared" for him were doing it on their terms. No one ever asked Da On what his wants are, ideas, needs, feelings - people made decisions for him, they told him what's the best for him. And here we have Seong Hyeon who gives that power to decide back to Da On, and Da On does not fucking know what to do with it.

"Back then, and even now. It's always been you" the way Da On does not maniacally laugh after Suhyeon said that. I would be laughing so hard I would fall from my chair. Like this is such a ridiculous shit to hear after all these years. I would be crying laughing.

"The real problem isn't me"... child, you psychotic anger filled aggressive toddler. YOU 👏🏻ARE👏🏻BOTH👏🏻THE👏🏻PROBLEM! Suhyeon thinks nothing was his fault. Not even his own fucking actions. Everything was because of someone else. Let's play devil's advocate that he legit had no agency in all that - he still sucks and there is no reason for Da On to be with him. Who the fuck would want to be with a man who can be this easily manipulated into sexually assaulting someone they claim they love? How can one even trust a person like that? Whenever he thinks all his actions were his fault or not, does not matter, because in both scenarios he is NOT A GOOD PARTNER!

Jae Min preparing the dinner is exactly what I said about him in one of my comments. He thinks now that Suhyeon is out of the picture because of his behavior, baby boi is out of the picture because Da On pushed him away, he is the only one Da On and rely on and turn to. Bitch gonna be surprised when confronted lol I doubt he had even one moment in his life when his schemes did not work out.

SLDJDHFDSLIGDS CAN THESE BITCHES STOP ASSAULTING DA ON. I am sorry, but we have 3 out of 3 non-consensual moments. Sure Seong Hyeon's was the least problematic since Da On started the kiss, but he still did not push him away knowing he is completely drunk. But damn... fuck... Da On... I'll pay for your therapy.

"Let's talk again later" DA ON, CHILD THERE IS NOTHING LEFT TO TALK ABOUT 🤡
FUCK SDJHGFDSF WAIT, SCARED, HE GARBBED THE KNIFE OMG FUCK YOU BITCH, JUST KILL YOURSELF WITH IT 🤡
YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAS HE ACTUALLY STABBED HIMSELF HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAH

I fucking hate Jae Min as a person, but I love him as a character.

Well, now that the episode is over, I need alcohol 🥲

what is he? toddler with half working brain? Jae Min made him react to certain things, that's true. Manipulated him into action. But Su Hyeon is the one who chose every fucking time violence, when there were many other ways to react.

Best example is the set up in university. He could get the phone from the guy and then get Da On out of this dangerous situation. Instead he decided to beat the dude up and even push away Da On he claimed to protect. He is aggressive first, and Jae Min uses that side of him. But if he was not, Jae Min could not do it in the first place.

yes, and? Does not change the fact he was so aggressive he literally cared more about hurting that dudde than actually making sure Da On is safe lol He literally pushed Da On away when he tried to stop him and then smashed a buttle on the dude's head when can in fact kill someone 🤡

why Jae Min didn't let DaOn know that he likes him too ... then everything would have ended there ... < as in during the confession? Well, then it would break his stupid (at the time it was made not as stupid) contract with Su Hyeon. So what would Su Hyeon do? Tell Da On about the contract, and I cannot see how Da On could stay in a relationship with Jae Min after finding out the truth. Basically Jae Min did fuck up a bit, because the thing he used in the past to keep Da On in his life (the contract) is not what keeps him in check and not able to cross the line.

As for university, I don't think he had strong feelings at first, also with psychopaths (which i believe Jae Min is) the love they feel is not a love we normal people understand and feel. It's more about possessing and owning. He did not feel the need at first to cross the line with Da On and cause potential break up in the future, when "friendship" is more stable. But then Su Hyeon showed up and Da On started to shift his attention to him and like him, so the contract happened to block Su Hyeon for "taking Da On away" basically.

Daon's saving grace as a character is that he does actually have back bone and that makes him likable < this! People act as if he has no backbone because when Su Hyeon gets aggressive he focuses first on de-escalating instead of being an idiot and making him more angry at the moment. That's being smart, not weak. If I am against a dude that can literally kill me, I'm not going to make him more angry, I'll try to somehow make him calm down while looking for a way out to remove myself from the situation in a safe manner.

Putting the trauma away, even if the event left no emotional issues, it's illogical to "be brave and stand up" when he knows when Su Hyeon is angry it's not past him to be aggressive enough to potentially en someone's life and that aggression can if fact be directed at Da On too, if Su Hyeon is past his reasoning fueled with anger. Not to mention how will he stand up for him? "Stop doing whatever you are doing" And then Su Hyeon fires Seong Hyeon, potentially also beats him up coz why not, that's how Su Hyeon solves his issues.

Like, Su Hyeon is currently actively trying to ruin the project Da On is working on just to keep him from leaving the country. He does not care if it will hurt Da On long time, he rather hurt Da On and keep him with him even by force, than to let him go. And he has a lot of power to do that.

I would love to hear people who talk Da On should stand up for himself, how they see that scene happen and where they think it would lead 🤡

https://kisskh.at/723559-secret-relationship#comment-21152036

I tried to sum up how I understood Da On's feelings so far 😅 Hope it helps.