Kate

I'm not saying going back is the correct choice, I'm just saying it makes perfect sense from his point of view and his current psychological situation.

Many people would go back. Once you see that suffer and you are also aware of the fact you do have the skills to help end it, the guilt of not doing it might be far stronger than the fear of going back. Especially for someone like ML, who to some extent has a savior complex, he cannot put himself and his needs above others. He cannot say no to people in need. It makes perfect sense for me why he wants to go back. Because he cannot live with the guilt of no doing so.

some thoughts on ep 23

I think I'm getting tired with how "realistic" this is.
Yes, the recovery from any psychological issue is a whole ass journey, but this is a show... it has to be presented in a way that reflects reality WHILE keeping the viewers engaged. But we are running in a fucking circles with little to no development.

Everyone is lying to everyone how well they are, and when the truth is out, they get annoyed they were lied to, when they are also the ones that go around lying and hiding the truth. How many times can they reflect on the same mistakes, and make them over and over again before I can get honestly annoyed? 🙂

The issue is not that they are not getting better, it's the fact they are not working together to get better, rather lying to each other. What the fuck was the point of the whole ass beautiful scene of them admitting they are not fine, when they are doing the same shit yet again. Another scene like that won't get me to tears, I will be rolling my eyes.

Also, not Zan about to call Song to talk to her FINALLY, but Ben be calling with: listen bitch, I'm not saying you have to, but you kind of have to get here coz shit ain't good 🙂 Also, the kid you care about? Dead.
Yeeessss... his PTSD filled brain needed just that 🤡

Now as a complete Ben and Sa Xin delulu fan, the way they are framing shit in episode 23 makes it seem like Ban called Zan to get him back to Eastern Country after he saw how broken Sa Xin became after Zero's death... like Sa Xin's pain was the reason 🤡

Also, the way he just took all that pain and anger and did not try to stop Sa Xin I'm like 🥹

Now back to serious, I have to give massive props to the show for being bold and not half assing how awful war is. The kids die in wars, and it's tragic... it's sad to know they were not able to see the better future. Fuck this shit 😭😭😭😭

Also, I do not think Zan will be able to move from his PTSD... I don't even think this drama can possibly have a happy ending. He is surrounded by constant reminders of what caused the trauma in the first place. And every new information he gets makes him feel more guilty and sad, more weak and incapable of getting better. Guilty for not feeling fine and not helping more. I saw in the previews for next episodes he will get back to Eastern Country and I'm honestly scared for him. Not only I do not think he is ready, I honestly do not think he could ever be ready...

Now to a bit of a criticism... it kind of starts to feel like a trauma porn... Like... no balance of anything. There are no ups and downs. It's just down, down.... and a bit more down until we are in a fucking hell of traumas and mental disorders and bad news and no happiness and no rays of hope. Especially on ML's part. FL at least can vent her sadness to him, and he just takes it all in, when he cannot even handle his own feelings, no to mention help others dealing with theirs. Dude is emotionally overworked and will shut down soon. And it's exhausting to watch.

I am sure you would have fun with this one hahahaha
It keeps surprising you 🤡

Well... majority of the plot can be understood without showing it on screen. We can understand how leads got over their psychological issues without showing it on the screen. Why even bother making the drama, we can just watch first and last episode and figure out what might have happened.

It's not like your explanation does not make sense it's the fact none of this was shown in the drama. It's not part of the show. It's a great theory of what probably happened, but it's by all means not part of the plot. I can imagine in my head all sort of scenarios for the supporting characters and built their development and depth in my head, it's still not part of the actual show. I should not have to add depth to the characters, they should have it based on the writing 🤣🤣

yeah but if you always put a mask, you do not just randomly one day decide to live your true self. Maybe with traumatic experience, but as I said, she "dropped the mask" before the traumatic experience. Whenever she was an egocentric ass, or she was just acting like one, why and how she changed or dropped the mask are both cases of character development that was skipped straight to the result. If they showed her actually observe Song a few time for few days and how she interacts with other. They met ONCE, and after some time they met second time in the orphanage and she acted like a different person. All that development work happened not on screen.

Stupid photographer changing one minute change of mind is fine because he was one scene character. You cannot writing wise treat random one time character the same as one of the supporting characters.

Yeah but she became good BEFORE the bomb in the orphanage.
She started to do volunteering job and not seeing Song as some evil competitor and became more nice BEFORE it happened. Literally between episodes. She was literally a dick one episode, and nice and understanding another episode.

It was never confirmed if she deleted the comment - basically never truly explained nor mentioned what happened with anything, if she even apologized to Jiang Yu 🙄

I completely understand that the story focuses on Li Zan and Song Ran since they are THE main characters, but the fact we get practically speaking ZERO scenes from supporting characters is just bad planning for the story. They become less developed, we connect to them way less, they start to feel like props for leads, not individuals. Keeping the balance is important and I think the drama completely fails at it, examples:

1. They have spent 2 full episodes on the bullying story, and they did not give it any closure. NONE. It was there just for the leads to get closer and admit they are hurting, but the plot that was developed during that period was just dropped the moment it was not serving the leads. Song Ran did not apologize to Jiang Yu, they did not show the article she was supposed to write in the first place about that bullying accident. By all means, the whole country would still think the teen is a nasty bully. Her saying "it was settled" is not a proper closure. How was it settled?

2. In even earlier episodes, Shen Bei's whole character development literally happened between episodes. She was an egocentric asshole at the end of one episode, and was an empathic journalist in the next episode. We saw NONE of the process of her change. Nothing.

I understand, the mains are the most important, but if you FAIL to develop and showcase everything around them, the story start to seem flat coz it happenes in bubble that does not feel real.

Yeah I assumed it was botox or some other work done. The skin on her face was... tight.

You are talking about a completely different issue than my comment was directed at. People ship characters for different reasons no matter what the source material is. Somehow in straight shipping it's never an issue. No one says people are disgusting when they ship female character with male character when their relationship never crosses a platonic line.

quick short-cut to gain viewers and often storylines were poor and had no artistic value. < yeah that might be the oficial version for people to read. Somehow there is no stop on vertical toxic male lead dramas that quality wise are iterally the lowest of anything that can be produced. If the reasoning given does not apply to all the contect, it says a lot about the real reason it was implemented.

Have I ever said anything about other countries? No. So what's your point?

I am aware majority if not all countries have various level of homophobia in them. This has nothing to do with this specific case of gay relationships being cansored in Chinese media. This is a Chinese drama produced in China hence I am commenting how it is in China.

Do not assume what is my opinion on anything else except things I wrote myself.

Yeah your comment does not make them less of a gay ship 👍

Well, admins already said the review section soon will be open to reviews only after at least first episode airs so that's good.

I am honestly surprised how well they are handling the topic. It's rare to see in dramas.

about some psychological aspects of the drama

On the general note, I appreciate the direcity of the diagnosis going on. Traumatic experience does not always only lead to PTSD. Sometimes you might end up with anxiety, depression etc. So them not labeling every character with PTSD is great.

What's more, I do appreciate how with Li Zan case, they show psychological issues can heavily impact your recovery from physical injuries too. What's more, how scary the process of recovery is. How while taking the first step is the key, it's not end all be all. Even after seeing the psychiatrist he is still hesitant. He did not do follow up. He claims to be better. You do not get better from severe PTSD after one meeting. But recovery is fucking scary. So sometimes it's easier to convince yourself you are getting better and you can push through it by yourself.

Then we have Song Ran - what a great portrayal of depression and anxiety. How from the outside she might seem fine, but we as viewer see how she is not, how she is honestly barely holding up at times. I love how they don't show depression as this 1:0 shit - you either completely disfuncional, or fine. With depression you can also have good days, you can be happy, smile.

And then we have pretending to be fine in front of each other, because they do not want to burden the other 😭 When if honest about their state they could be such a massive emotional support for each other on that healing process. But that's also so fitting, because the last person you want to show your pain is the person you love.

Ben is on a whole murder mission. While we do not have (and probably won't get any since he is still in active service) diagnosis, he obviously has issues himself. Blaming himself for Rina's death is a sure thing. So now he just pushes forward, no matter the risk, no matter the injury.

Sa Xin joining the military is also a symptom of his grief and psychological struggle, because by all means he is not cut for military. But he wants and need to do something. But now with Ben locking him up... he cannot even do that. It must feel so awful, suffocating.

I honestly love how they present various psychological issues and trauma and how differently people deal with it and what kind of effect it might have on their daily lives 😭

About the psychiatrist I like her too. I appreciate how she does not life to her patients pretending as if their issues are not severe, but makes sure to let them know they can get better. It will be hard, but it is possible. I think that's so important with mental health. Giving patients false hope for recovery can literally break a person when they don't see the instant improvement. What's more, how she does not tell them what they need to do. She tells them possible consequences of their choices, might add her professional opinion, but at the end it;s their choice to do it or not.

There is a reason we are using the word "ship" not "couple" most of the time. Coz it;s the prefer pairing, not canon. So people being so fucking pressed about it is so hilarious. world is burning with shity global economy, wars, global warming, but fictional ships is the hill people want to die on 🤡🤣 how unserious of them.

One of the thing I find the most funny is how truly they just sandwitch Doctor between Ben and Sa Xin 🤣
He interacts and teases/borderline flirts with Sa Xin, we get a scene right away with the doc. Then we back with scene between Ben and Sa Xin right away. Sa Xin is one way or another always present when Ben in concerned hahahaha