To My Shore

brace yourself

Overall: I'm tried my best to see this through a fictional lens and the actors did a fantastic job, but I couldn't support the romance aspect which up until the end of episode 14 was about power and control aka abuse and not love. Adapted from the web novel “Si Mian Fo” by Su Erliang which I haven't read and I am reviewing this series based on its own merits. 15 episodes about 40 minutes each. Aired on Viki https://www.viki.com/tv/41277c-to-my-shore (Americas, Europe, Oceania, India, Middle East, Japan and South Korea); GagaOOLala https://www.gagaoolala.com/en/videos/6027/to-my-shore-2025-e01 (not in the Americas, Europe, Oceania, India, Middle East, Japan and South Korea) and Heavenly in South Korea

Content Warnings: past (deaths, bullying, unwanted outing/homophobia); current (sexual assault, manipulation, intimate partner abuse, drugging, non con video recording, violence, self harm mentioned and shown, PTSD/trauma, vomiting, intimate partner abuse, non con turned consensual, coercion, repeated rape not explicitly shown (this was coerced and not freely given consent))

Watch Suggestions (this will focus on sweet moments, but there are still visits to grave sites and other things)
- episode 5 watch 16:40-29:50
- episode 6 watch 3:30-15:35, 17:30-21:20, 21:35-27, 34:50-end
- episode 7 watch 6:10-10, 20-22
- episode 8 watch 7:40-15:30
- skip episodes 9, 10, 11 and 12
- episode 13 watch 26-39:30
- episode 14 watch 4-17:45 and 29:30-end (for a character to finally understand/apologize)
- episode 15 watch 30-end

What I Liked
- acting
- that they have a slightly more balanced power dynamic and one guy defends himself
- the obsessed chemistry vibe

Room For Improvement
- I cannot support a character in a romantic relationship, he abused/emotionally tortured the supposed love of his life and continued to do so until the end of episode 14. A few "I'm sorry" were not enough of a redemption arc. He consistently put his own happiness over the one he claimed to love. The other guy was not mutually abusive, anything bad he did was in response to the abuser's abuse. There was a time skip but as a viewer it felt no time had passed which did not help with the supposed redemption arc
- the crown was odd
- too much time spent on 1 character in the beginning
- odd music over a flashback
- multiple guys were obsessed with another guy

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A very dark and intense BL

Interesting story. Get very intense and dark sometimes - which is not that recurrent in dramaland (or maybe in mainstream drama, because I feel like chinese bl drama for some reason get pretty dark nowadays). This drama isn't for everyone : I'll say this will be more for those who like dark, psychological drama

I like how some of the scenes were filmed and we can really get a grisp on our main leads mental state. And I like how they play with the lightning and angles. The first episode was pretty awkward not gonna lie, I cringed so much haha. (and I think main leads were dubbed ? which somehow takes me out to the story). But I'll say it starts to get better after te two first episodes.

Episode 8 was the best episode - very intense, sad, both leads show great acting. I was feeling so bad for Shu Lang during the whole series - I think in real like Fan Xiao will definitely be the type of person I'll do everything to distance myself for the sake of my well-being. I'll let it go since is dramaland, but there's definitely some scenes where I was like "Uuuugh this is not okay" or "Fan wake up and start being a normal humain being"

Redemption arc was great, but less "intense" in my opinion then what comes before. I did get emotional though in some scenes and we come to see the regret and remorse of Fan Xiao of his past behaviour (which is great we really needed it after this whole whirlwind of emotions)

Both leads has great chemistry
Kudos to Shu Lang, he's nice, sweet, caring - but also smart, witty sometimes. I feel like I totally get why te people around him likes him.
10/10 for how the character was written and portrayed by the actor. Also liked how he was methaphorically compared to buddha everytime

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What A Ride This Has Been....

Before this drama came into my life — very unannounced btw, I was convinced that Ming (My Stand-In), was the worst love interest to ever exist in the BL world. Then Fan Xiao strolled into my life with his perfectly coiffed hair, his synced at the waist suits, and skinny cigarettes, looked me straight in the eye with a sneer and one raised condescending eyebrow, and was like ' Bitch, you thought..?'

This drama had me glued to my screen every Sunday, because in a sea of mostly fluffy and comedic shows, it offered something different. Something new. It offers up a kind of love that you don't really want IRL, but it's so engaging in fiction.

Fan Xiao (FX) - He is crazy. He actually describes himself as that in the end. He's controlling, manipulative, and cruel — a lot of which is caused by his horrendous family and upbringing, all of which thoroughly skew his view of the world and people in general. When he meets Yu Shu Lang, he approaches him through this lens, and while things work out in his favour in the beginning, they quickly unravel and crash. Because of who FX is, this unravelling and crashing of his plans and relationship lead him down a path of appalling cruelty to the person he claims to care about the most, all in a misguided effort to keep him by his side.

Yu Shu Lang (YSL) - To the rest of the world, he's just a regular dude. However, to Fan Xiao, he's the Bodhisattva himself come to life. Like FX, his upbringing was also not the best. It was pretty traumatic tbh. However, instead of turning him into some jaded scum of the earth fellow, he became self-sacrificing — especially to those he cares about. This is easily seen in how he treats his ex, his leech of a brother, and, to an extent, Fan Xiao.

🌊What I Liked🌊
1. This is a very well-told story. It's engaging and, for the most part, very well paced. It doesn't lag, and neither is the plot filled with nonsensical filler scenes that pass the time

2. The characters are very smart. FX uses his smarts to manipulate YSL and those around him for his benefit. Do I commend it? No. But you've got to hand it to the man. He knew what he wanted, did his homework, and used his crafty little brain to get it. It all bit him in the ass in the end, but I was still hella impressed

YSL is also impressive in his own right. I've been reading BL manga & manhua/hwa for just as long as I've been watching BLs. One thing I find unfortunate about the genre is how dumb the uke are usually written/portrayed.
YSL is not dumb. He might have ignored his instincts at first, but when those red flags and inconsistencies started blaring at him, bro got to the bottom of things. He's also very proactive in his life and job — he never relies on his rich, younger husband to help him out or further his career. He can stand on his own without FX.

3. Yu Shu Lang fights back - It should also be acknowledged that despite all he goes through (read the cruelty of FX), he still has a backbone. Despite all that FX does to cage and control him, YSL always fought back. Even when things looked bleak, he tried to find a way to get away from his insane boyfriend (ex, really, but FX never accepted that). Most Ukes you encounter (in books for me) usually just sit and cry. Or give up after 1 or 2 tries. YSL kept fighting.

4. The redemption - It takes a lot for Fan Xian to put a stop to his madness and finally leave YSL alone. But when he does, he follows through. Not fully — the man was truly obsessed — but he does his best. Not only does he repent, but he goes out of his way to not only try to give YSL the life that he had before him, but also to make it better and ease his loneliness and financial burden. Even when they find each other again, he does his best to leave him alone. He does secretly stalk him, so you know... gotta take what you get with this one.

5. I hear that we'll be getting special episodes sometime in the future. No idea when this will happen because, as of now, filming hasn't started. But whenever that happens, I'll be sat. I wonder how many episodes they'll give us

6. The chemistry - These two work great together. They were able to create such palpable tension. Their sweet moments — albeit largely shown in flashbacks — are beautiful to watch

🌊Things I Didn't Like/I'd Have Changed🌊
1. How The Eventual Breakup Happened - I find it unfortunate that YSL never quite managed to free himself. In his attempts to flee/leave, Fan Xiao was always 3 steps ahead of him. He got free because, in the end, FX allowed it.

If I'd been the writer of this story, Fan Xiao wouldn't have been the one to press 'send' on that email. YSL would've done it. He'd have sent that email with tears running down his face and curled up on the floor, sobbing. Because he loved FX and he knew what that email would lead to, but he'd have done it. Because at the end of the day, it was either his life or Fan Xiao, and he chose himself

2. Yi Ran, the actor who plays YSL, is very stiff — both in posture and in acting. From his actor page on this platform, he seems to be a pretty experienced actor. So I'm left wondering if this is how he acts in all the other productions or if this was a deliberate choice by the show's directors or producers. I've seen some of his clips where he's doing a live with Yun Qi floating on Twitter, and he's very expressive IRL, so, once again, I wonder where the disconnect is. Yun Qi is brand spanking new to the scene, so I'll cut him some slack. I will say, however, that for a new actor, he was pretty decent.

3. The last few episodes felt rushed - From ep 13, things started unfolding at wrap speed. Perhaps it's due to the budget, which affects the episode count, but it felt like chunks of the story were skipped over so they could complete the story within the allotted episode number. Even the last episode felt rushed. ABO Desire had 16 episodes, Revenged Love had 24. I think this should've had maybe 18 episodes. That would've allowed them to show us what all that happened from when FX went to jail till they reconciled

4. The kisses could've been better - Based on the tension and the sheer amount of kissing that was going on in this show, they could've done so much better. Part of me wants to say that maybe it's because it's a Chinese production and that's why we got what we got, but I feel like I'm settling. Not to compare but.... Revenged Love, anyone? They were so good.
Also, I feel like anyone who takes the job of making or acting in a BL (or GL) should commit. If kissing is needed, as a director, direct those scenes in the best way possible and let them shine as needed. As an actor, give it your all, or let others take your spot. Do not shortchange your audience

5. Episode 12 straight-up traumatized me. I didn't deserve that

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may this love NEVER find me

The best part about this drama for me was you shulang because his feelings toward Fan Xiao were valid. I felt his anger and was angry with him. I needed to see more scenes of Fan Xiao absolutely groveling and actively trying to be better. Fan Xiao at the end was so unrecognizable until he kept not asking for consent. Their whole dynamic is so toxic, but they still found a way to be happy. I knew this show was toxic and the toxic parts were entertaining to say the least. I really did adore Fan Xiao's actor and I am surprised this is his first role. The last few eps were a bit slow & dragging for me though, but I enjoyed what it gave me. Shulang is way dtronger than me because I probably would have changed my name and moved to a different country if a man ever did that to me. <3

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Faithful adaptation of the novel, worth watching

This novel (Four-Faced Budda, Su Erliang) was born for a tv adaptation. I loved seeing the characters come to life, and the casting was perfect. Hao Yi Ran and Yun Qi both do a great job with facial expressions and nonverbal acting. I dropped after episode 10 only because I didn't have the heart to watch the post-breakup arc so soon after reading the novel, but I'll surely pick it back up one day. The story is captivating, morally twisted, and fun to watch. It's the kind of story that makes you think about your own life in the context of You Shulang's. Many of us know what its like to be betrayed by a romantic partner. Watching the show had me asking myself -- what does someone have to do to break my trust? How often do I excuse someone's behavior because of their past trauma? What are the limits of my forgiveness? The story has received some criticism and moral policing, but at the end of the day it's just an extreme portrayal of a feeling many people can relate to. It's a thought expirement and an exploration of common real-life problems like trust, betrayal, the risks of falling in love, regret, forgiveness, healing, and the old adage -- time heals all wounds.

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Trigger Warnings for SA, rape, self-harm, drugs & alcohol, violence, & manipulation.

Even after this series has been over for months, I still see people who are obsessed with it. They post photos and reels almost daily about the show and the main actors, and after finally watching the series, I really don't understand. Overall, it was a good series, but nothing that I would put my time and energy into months after it's finished.

I have one question that I asked myself at the end, and that was, "Is this Stockholm Syndrome?" Is that the real reason Shulang goes back to Fan Xiao?

OST wasn't invasive, and when I do notice it, I like it.

I liked that they made Fan Xiao such a black flag. He's not the worst character in the series by far, but he's obsessive and possessive to a dangerous degree, and had the money to do what he wanted. All the trigger warnings are because of him. The man needs therapy to deal with his past trauma and his current obsession. They made it easy for me to want Shulang nowhere near this man, while also feeling a bit sorry for him when he's trying to be a better person, and Shulang is RIGHTFULLY pushing him away. (Sometimes my empathy is a problem; I see someone hurting and I hurt with them.)

I also like how Fan Xiao marks his territory. Sorry, not sorry.

Shulang was easily my favorite character (even though I got freaked out/worried by his hands a couple times) because of how much he reminds me of my mom. Kind to a fault, but you don't fuck with the people they love. He's stupid for going back to Fan Xiao, but I wasn't surprised either because no matter how bad the manipulation, you could tell he still loved him, and once the good things he did were brought to light, you could see that it was easily breaking down the walls Shulang built. This is why I suspected Stockholm Syndrome; he went back to him so easily.

The only thing I didn't like about Shulang was how quickly he moved on from his boyfriend that he'd been dating for years. At least I think it was years. He didn't seem affected by the breakup at all until he learned Fan Xiao's role in it.

I wouldn't blame Lu Zhen for breaking up with Shulang because he felt like Shulang wasn't emotionally available enough & he didn't see that until Fan Xiao started showing him attention. Sadly, it seemed less like he realized this and more like he liked the attention because after only the second meeting with Fan Xiao, he was already telling him that Shulang was a relative. He realized what he lost too late, and I can't bring myself to feel bad for him.

We have a relationship happening in the background between Xue Bao Tian and Zhang Cho, and I really wanted to know more about it. It was a red flag relationship that they just teased us with.

My least favorite character in the whole series has to be the brother. I don't know how old he was, but it acted like a 16-year-old who thought his brother owed him his life. Anyone who does a fake suicide attempt so they can live an easier life on the back of someone else's work should be ashamed of themselves. And his reasons made no sense. Why was he mad at Shulang for defending himself from bullies, but not the bullies themselves for his mother's death? How do we know if Shulang even defended himself? We get 1 flashback, and it didn't look like he was.

Alright, on to the things that I didn't like/annoyed me.

* The only thing that annoyed me more than it was actually a problem was that the main characters seemed allergic to closing doors sometimes. Multiple times, they just left doors open while having very private conversations or while it's freezing outside. Close the damn door!

* They smoked too much. Every time you turn around, they are smoking. Did they need to smoke that much?

* They say each other's names too much. Honestly, this goes for all Chinese dramas.

* Why are so many people speaking English? Why are so many people speaking Chinese? We are in Thailand a majority of the time, but everywhere our characters go, it's either Chinese or English being spoken. I'm not talking about the main or supporting characters either; I'm talking about the background/extra characters.

* The kissing was just okay, but the chemistry was good.

* Our main actors really didn't show that much emotion, and maybe that was down to direction so that it would be more impactful in the emotional moments. It made their acting feel stiff for the first couple of episodes.

* I didn't get invested in the story or the character until episode 8, where Shulang starts learning the truth behind Fan Xiao's lies and manipulations. For a series that is so highly rated and praised, that is too long before getting pulled in. I should have been gripped from episode 3 at least, but even after I got into the series, my feelings for it were still at "whatever". I was even a bit bored in the first couple of episodes.

* This series didn't need a happy ending, but if they had to give us one, I wish they had spent more time redeeming Fan Xiao in Shulang's eyes. Have Fan Xiao slowly redeem himself, not have them jump back into a relationship after Shulang's friend inadvertently points out that he's still in love with Fan Xiao, and that's why he can't let go. He should have already known that; what's important is Fan Xiao changing and winning Shulang over again.

* I hate that when time passes, they don't tell us how much.

* I would have liked to see Fan Xiao do some actual work, not just control & manipulate multiple people's lives, or drink & smoke.


Despite all the hype, I went into this show with little excitement or expectations, and my feelings stayed at a 7/7.5 the entire time. There was never a moment that got my blood pumping or my heart hurting so bad I cried. Nothing that made me mad or overly happy. I honestly didn't feel much of any emotion while watching this, which feels strange. I'm not going to tell anyone not to give it a try because it seems a lot of people really enjoyed it, but to me it was like throwing a pebble into the water.

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A complete guide to what love is not.

Did you enjoy it?
Great, now take notes so that if anything similar to what you saw in this series happens to you, call the police, talk to your friends and family, and possibly a social worker or, better yet, a psychiatrist.
Νon-consensual violence, in any form, is NOT love and never believe the opposite, no matter how well-crafted it is presented by those who cannot escape this situation either as victim or abuser.
Having stated that. Good actors, script with strong choices, as much as the extremely problematic, even criminally punishable, story allowed. It could have been a 12 episodes series to achieve a cohesive story line and avoid repeating. Also, the changing (unbelievable as it is) happens in an instant like miracle reducing any attempt to justify the end. It could have been better if it has gone from ep. 9 to ep. 14.
As we are talking about fiction and not reality, as long as you keep the above in mind you can find interesting, moving or even worthy of study acting and directing moments in this series. Although I think it gives no redemption as the basic goal of cinematic art.
Finally, PLEASE stop using money and health as global love and situation translator.

Extra tip:
Fan Xiao – How many times should I take off my shirt?
Director – YES.
You Shu Lang – How incompetently good should I be?
Director – YES.

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Acting, Toxicity and Obsession at its finest!

Coming from a demanding viewer, this is a masterpiece. I didn´t expect much from this series since it was not hyped as much as the other chinese bls, but it definitely won a place in my heart. Everything is settled to perfection. If you wanna enjoy a bl with a fast-paced, toxic, obsessive, manipulative and with a more mature tone, this is made for you unquestionably.

The story unfolds quickly yet smoothly as they fall in love, and the acting feels natural and unforced. There´s no filler or "unnecessary" incidents throughout the series, not even a boring scene all along. The chemistry between Fanxiao and Shulang started messy, but it makes you obsessed, wondering how everything will end for them? I didn't read the novel, but I can definitely say that they ATE their roles, they just embodied them.

Overall this is an angsty drama, barely with touches of comedy; but when they wanna include them, they're light and silly and non-cringy jokes thankfully.

And let's talk about something many people overlook: the production of this series.
- The music appears at the right time. The soundtrack is also perfect.
- The lightning. Such an underrated thing to appreciate, but it works every time.
- The cinematography. From my point of view, I've never been more attracted to the colours of a series than this one. Every shot is perfectly recorded, from every angle, and don't forget the colours, utterly charming to the eyes.

For sure, there will be a few high-quality bls in the whole industry that include all the previous points, but personally, I love how the storyline develops along with the chemistry between the main leads :) Can't wait for how the story ends! As expected, chinese bl productions are always top-tier.

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Good Bones But Wasted Potential

Chinese BL dramas are like unicorns: they appear sporadically, like one good one every five years, then get hindered by new censorship regulations. And I always try to watch because some of them are real gems.

(Looking at you The Untamed)

2025 has brought us some promising entries like "Revenged Love" and "ABO Desire."
"To My Shore" caught my attention because I saw its trailer, but ultimately, it didn’t really meet my expectations.

After watching all 15 episodes, my take is that this drama serves as a decent option if you're looking for some skinship in a Chinese BL. Oh, they do it a lot in this drama. The foundation for a compelling story is there, but the script feels more like a rough draft than a polished narrative.

While the characters and their backstories are intriguing, the arcs seem underdeveloped, and I don't believe this falls on the actors. The writers had a fascinating premise but failed to deliver to execute. Although I can appreciate complex themes, the portrayal of toxic and abusive relationships here wasn’t handled in a way that allowed me to believe in genuine redemption.

I did enjoy some aspects of the dynamic between the leads. I’m so tired of the typical top-and-bottom roles with the bottom assumed to be the "wife material." It's refreshing to see characters who break away from these stereotypes. The push-and-pull interactions were enjoyable. They were both trying to be in control. At least at the beginning.

Unfortunately, the narrative did suffer from poor execution. The uneven acting in the first portion of the drama and so-so camera work throughout didn’t help, but the real issue lay with the script and the story's presentation. Again, I did not read the source material and I have no idea if the script differs from it much in terms of pacing, but I do think more cohesive storyline was needed because pacing wobbled throughout. Additionally, the romantic situations that typically drive the genre were lacking. Things between the characters developed fast and then stalled, and then we have a rushed ending and not enough time for the true and meaningful redemption arc.

I think the point at least for me where I felt like drama well and a little bit downhill was when Shu Lang discovered the extent of Fan Xiao’s deceit.

Too many episodes were dedicated to rehashing the fallout from that revelation, with Shu Lang wallowing in despair far longer than necessary. It became tedious to watch, and the frequency of their sexual encounters, which felt non-consensual, didn’t need that much screen time. While I have no issue with dub-con in fiction(ABO Desire did it right), Fan Xiao became increasingly unredeemable as a result. What’s the point of doing things behind everyone’s back but being a dick to your loved one in front of him?

The notion that Shu Lang still loved Fan Xiao after he was hurt by him so badly was poorly conveyed, largely due to the script's shortcomings. The redemption arc for Fan Xiao should have been explored much earlier in the series.

I basically wanted for things to happen. For situations to happen. For interesting dialogues to happen. But most of it never did. I felt almost like the two of them were just going in circles.

Don’t get me wrong "To My Shore" isn’t a bad drama. It has some good bones, but the execution falls flat. The first half suffers from awkward acting, like they were still trying to get into the characters, though the emotional moments were somewhat effective. The cinematography is low-budget and forgettable, which is not an issue for me if the story is good. I wish the writers had focused more on refining the pacing of the story, which could have led to a more satisfying viewing experience. Some dialogue felt confusing, possibly due to poor subtitle translations. Or at least they felt confusing to me.

In summary, with a more polished script, "To My Shore" could have been an excellent drama. The conclusion felt rushed, highlighting the overall problem of mismanaged pacing. If it had been handled better, I think we would have a little bit more time to see the characters getting back together in a more organic way.

If you’re seeking a BL drama with a toxic relationship that ultimately results in a meaningful redemption arc, I recommend "My Stand-In." There are some true gems when it comes to Chinese BLs but Chinese BLs still have a long way to go to reach the level of Thai productions.

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